There’s a part of me that feels like a reverse black hole. It is a small space that starts where my sternum ends and is about the size of a fist.

Instead of sucking everything around it in, I feel sometimes like everything inside of me is leaking out… like this imaginary hole is capable of spitting out everything I am and leaving me empty.

I think that it was this weird quirk of mine that lead to my strange dream last night. I don’t remember all of it, but I wanted to record what I do remember.

We were all in some kind of a warehouse. I don’t know who we were… just that I was there and so were others I knew.

We were collected in a group and talking about something. One of them got upset and began to fidget.

They pulled out a gun.

I didn’t see who they shot but the sound rattled my bones as I ran out of the building. We were all running.

The door opened and it was bright outside. The warehouse walls were white sheet metal with ridges. Someone was running in front of me. I ran to the right without thinking about it but then I paused.

I looked back.

I should have gone left.

To the right was a blank wall with no cover… nothing to hide behind. To the left was a corner, I could have made the turn and avoided the-

Gunfire.

Three bullets ripped into my lower back. (About where my sternum would have ended in the front)

I didn’t remember the pain, just the blood.

It oozed out of my mouth and down my back as my body fell onto the hood of a red car parked to the side.

The shooter pulled my body, warm with my own blood, off of the hood of the car and drove off.

Later, I realized that I was the only one of us to survive but nobody was rushing to fix me.

People were shifting me around from standing propped against a doorframe or leaning against a chair but nobody rushed to help me or stop the bleeding.

But I remember that I survived.

That was it.

I have spent all day thinking about it and I think it falls back to my reverse black hole. The past few days I have been having that feeling in my lower chest. I have been stressed about a lot of things and when I feel like throwing in the towel, the black hole begins hurling everything out to try and save the ship.

Maybe the reason I feel like everything I am is pouring out of my chest is because everyone around me seems to be stabbing me in the back so hard that the knives are breaking through.

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